First Comes School, Then Comes Marriage
There’s nothing more than an Asian parent could do but brag to their friends about their son or daughter’s career or even their love life. For better or for worse, Asian parents will push their children to marriage. It is common in Asian families for the parent to consistently pressure their children into starting a family at a young age. Kevin Hu captures this behavior in his article, “Asian Families Put Too Much Pressure on their Children to Marry,” by discussing the routine of parents that their children experience after reaching a certain age.
Gender roles play an important factor in this act due to the norms of the institution of marriage and how it connects to their beliefs as a family. For example, Asian-American women rush into marriage because they, “...feel pressure to marry and uphold their responsibility to their parents. This sense of duty can partly be attributed to ancient patriarchal values in Asian-American culture; a woman needs a man to support her, and beyond a certain age, women will no longer be seen as desirable.” The expectations of men are also not that different from women because, “Similarly, a man needs to marry a woman to pass on his lineage” (Hu). The idea of needing a man to take care of a woman or continuing the bloodline is what parents see marriage is the answer to; they lived at a time where people at a young age would marry early in order to achieve these things. However, their child is living at a new time; where the institution of marriage is deinstitutionalizing. Andrew J. Cherlin brings this current observation called cohabitation, in which is “...an alternative to marriage” (176). Instead of parents nagging to their children when will they have grandchildren, couples are having kids before they are married, or parents raising their children with different spouses. Women are no longer the caretakers and men are not the breadwinner due to this deinstitutionalization of marriage. In the past, many couples would only get married for the sake of fulfilling their own parents’ wishes. Now, individuals have the choice to what they desire in their relationships and form stronger bonds. Couples who would marry sooner and with less commitment tend to increase their risks of divorce within the institution of marriage. It is much better for parents to let their children freely date whoever their children like in order to maintain a healthy relationship with them.
Gender roles play an important factor in this act due to the norms of the institution of marriage and how it connects to their beliefs as a family. For example, Asian-American women rush into marriage because they, “...feel pressure to marry and uphold their responsibility to their parents. This sense of duty can partly be attributed to ancient patriarchal values in Asian-American culture; a woman needs a man to support her, and beyond a certain age, women will no longer be seen as desirable.” The expectations of men are also not that different from women because, “Similarly, a man needs to marry a woman to pass on his lineage” (Hu). The idea of needing a man to take care of a woman or continuing the bloodline is what parents see marriage is the answer to; they lived at a time where people at a young age would marry early in order to achieve these things. However, their child is living at a new time; where the institution of marriage is deinstitutionalizing. Andrew J. Cherlin brings this current observation called cohabitation, in which is “...an alternative to marriage” (176). Instead of parents nagging to their children when will they have grandchildren, couples are having kids before they are married, or parents raising their children with different spouses. Women are no longer the caretakers and men are not the breadwinner due to this deinstitutionalization of marriage. In the past, many couples would only get married for the sake of fulfilling their own parents’ wishes. Now, individuals have the choice to what they desire in their relationships and form stronger bonds. Couples who would marry sooner and with less commitment tend to increase their risks of divorce within the institution of marriage. It is much better for parents to let their children freely date whoever their children like in order to maintain a healthy relationship with them.
Comments